We started just like how a chick flick starts. Boy meets girl, they hit it off and instantly become best friends. We laughed, we loved, we enjoyed all of the little things. So you may ask me how that all changed, truth is I don’t have an answer for that.
I’m not sure if it was in between the ring you gave me or the plans we made to soon move in together. I’m not sure if it was my fault for wanting everything so badly to end up with you or if it was you not being ready for what we had planned next. We weren’t perfect together. In the beginning, maybe we could’ve been a match made in heaven, but somewhere down the road we just ran too many red lights, not stopping for a slow down.
I remember the day I realized I didn’t recognize who you were becoming. I had soon too, forgotten who I was and got lost in it with you. I became someone I wasn’t proud of because I became that girlfriend that started to support the negativity. When all I should’ve supported was what was best. I’m human and I made mistakes, but maybe if I didn’t make some of these we wouldn’t have ended the way we did.
The first time I saw you in your other form, I remember the way you changed back to yourself. You saw the terror in my face, the hurt, the sadness, the anger. You instantly regret it. The second time I saw your demons, was the last. I don’t know if I could’ve avoided it because truth be told, I believe I would’ve seen your demons even through the heaven you made for me.
I regret letting you do this to me. Now I walk around with a chip on my shoulder, checking every corner, watching every step the people around me make. I walk on shells consistently day in and day out. I’ve felt heart break before. But knowing the one person I trusted to save me from someone like you, turned out to be you, makes me wonder if I should even trust myself.
I think what hurts the most is knowing I wasn’t the first you showed your demons to. I know I won’t be the last to have seen them either. It burns me up knowing you’re better than what you’ve become but yet you’ve proven to be the exact opposite of who I thought you were. I don’t know you anymore, I’m not sure if the memories I have with you were ever real. I constantly question myself about what to do next, because of you.
You were the one who wrecked me. Who will be the one to pick up the pieces?